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They have a relationship of mutual love and respect. Knowing how much they had to work for it, and how happy they ended up as a result, helped me see that we could do the same.

He’s a Haitian American from New England and his partner is a white American from Oklahoma.

Prepare yourself for reactions that are unexpected or even upsetting, and accept that it may take some time for your family to come around. You’ll be sharing foods that may be new to your partner, translating your language for them during family gatherings and perhaps even teaching them some Racial Politics 101.

Sometimes, you’ll want to bang your head against the wall. “When your partner asks questions that may seem ignorant, they are accepting that they don’t understand everything,” said Fensterheim.

“Racial groups are not homogenous,” reiterated Childs. You and your partner don’t have to agree, but you should know where each other stand and try to understand each other’s perspectives.” For my part, I had to face the stereotypes I had about white Southerners.

“African-American people have different perspectives; some may support Black Lives Matter, and others don’t. To be honest, I just assumed that deep down, he and his family were probably racist.

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